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吴念真丨计程车司机的故事<\/h2>

吴念真<\/span> <\/p>

有—天，我去坐计程车。台北市大概七成以上的人都认得我，所以我在台北很守规矩，走路一定靠右边，不会一边走一边抽烟。<\/p>

<\/p>

那个计程车司机在听古典乐，那音乐恰好是我当时唯一能接受、唯一喜欢的肖邦。我很高兴。他从后视镜看到我。我说那是肖邦啊。他说对啊。他很含蓄地说，导演你好，我常常想，如果哪一天碰见你，我一定要讲个故事给你听。我说，好啊，你讲啊。他说，你就当成我自言自语好了。<\/p>

<\/p>

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　　如果老师掉水里了，你会怎么解救他？可能有的同学会这样说：我会游泳，1秒十米不在话下；我会找旁边的好心人帮忙，我会用腰带当绳子，我会打110找警察……
<\/p>

　　其实还有很多的答案，想不想知道各个专业的学生是怎么解救的？一起来看看各专业“大神”们的回答：<\/p><\/blockquote>

　　材料科学学院<\/b><\/p>

\"640.webp.jpg\"
<\/b><\/p>

　　老师，坚持10分钟！我马上回实验室拿救生衣，这是使用全聚亚氨酯材料制作的JackedJ01救生衣，质量轻、舒适性强、具有良好的柔韧性。老师，您穿上，就是抱个秤砣也沉不<\/p><\/b><\/p><\/blockquote>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"3","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"4","footprint_count":"625","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1474599569","up":"5","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":5733,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"30142167","web_icon":"{FB49FB7B-B61F-4F18-2528-DAB874BA999D},{15DD52B4-8B0A-5596-3ED8-CD4B9B628A7D}","nick":"刘权慧","pinyin":"LiuZuozheHui01;LZH01;刘权慧01;LiuZuozheHui;LZH;刘权慧","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{15DD52B4-8B0A-5596-3ED8-CD4B9B628A7D}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"刘权慧","hqid":"1107096","star_value":"0","page_view_count":19,"account":"刘权慧01","mobile":"15601146096","icon_filed_id":"{15DD52B4-8B0A-5596-3ED8-CD4B9B628A7D}","nickname":"刘权慧","gid":"30142167","never_login":false,"honour":"进士","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":"> 如果老师掉水里了，你会怎么解救他？可能有的同学会这样说：我会游泳，1秒十米不在话下；我会找旁边的好心人帮忙，我会用腰带当绳子，我会打110找警察…… > > 其实还有很多的答案，想不想知道各个专业的学生是怎么解救的？一起来看看各专业“大神”们的回答： 材料科学学院 老师，坚持10分钟！我马上回实验室拿救生衣，这是使用全聚亚氨酯材料制作的JackedJ01救生衣，质量轻、舒适性强、具有良好的柔韧性。老师，您穿上，就是抱个秤砣也沉不"},"comment_list":[{"id":"2981559","wid":"5881184","uid":"32248486","content":"syc？？？我找到了是吗","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","src":"17","ip":"1700077467","ctime":"1591955663","status":"1","qid":"102251","filename":"","attachment_md5":"","file_size":"0","is_medal":"0","audio":"","up":"0","perfect":"0","floor_num":"1","user":{"id":"32248486","web_icon":"{19734afc-9c8e-1261-96c1-c3bedaae0565},{8e6fa7ff-fdb5-685d-9581-dfd22f215923}","nick":"突突突突突突~","pinyin":"YuPeiTing;YPT;俞佩廷;TuTuTuTuTuTu~;TTTTTT~;突突突突突突~","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{8e6fa7ff-fdb5-685d-9581-dfd22f215923}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"俞佩廷","hqid":"3395084","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"俞佩廷","mobile":"18321865190","icon_filed_id":"{8e6fa7ff-fdb5-685d-9581-dfd22f215923}","nickname":"突突突突突突~","gid":"32248486","never_login":false,"honour":"举人"}}],"content_cut":"","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":1},{"id":"5881165","uid":"32435975","title":"","content":"","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"2543078","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"421","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357958","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12213,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"2543078","uid":"31534114","title":"学校老师一天表情大全，主要看气质...不许笑！","content":"

到今天为止，老师们都已经上了4天班；<\/p>

但是，很遗憾的是，今天还只是周二；<\/p>

还有3天的工作日要过；<\/p>

不过，别哭，<\/p>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"1","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"2","footprint_count":"603","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1476178983","up":"3","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"1476180280","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":5569,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"31534114","web_icon":"{24ADB08E-B45F-A045-DFCD-6C63419398FA},{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nick":"邢文素老师","pinyin":"XingWenSuLaoShi;XWSLS;邢文素老师","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"邢文素老师","hqid":"2631680","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"邢文素老师","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nickname":"邢文素老师","gid":"31534114","never_login":false,"honour":"解元","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":"到今天为止，老师们都已经上了4天班； 但是，很遗憾的是，今天还只是周二； 还有3天的工作日要过； 不过，别哭，"},"content_cut":"","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":1},{"id":"5881160","uid":"32435975","title":"","content":"","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"2580328","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"422","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357941","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12352,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"2580328","uid":"31534114","title":"要周末了 放松下吧","content":"

现在的小盆友<\/span><\/p>

都有逆天的技能<\/span><\/p>

演得了戏，撩得了妹\/汉<\/span><\/p>

比我们小时候彪<\/span><\/p>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"1","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"3","footprint_count":"602","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1477032130","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":5688,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"31534114","web_icon":"{24ADB08E-B45F-A045-DFCD-6C63419398FA},{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nick":"邢文素老师","pinyin":"XingWenSuLaoShi;XWSLS;邢文素老师","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"邢文素老师","hqid":"2631680","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"邢文素老师","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nickname":"邢文素老师","gid":"31534114","never_login":false,"honour":"解元","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":"现在的小盆友 都有逆天的技能 演得了戏，撩得了妹\/汉 比我们小时候彪"},"content_cut":"","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":1},{"id":"5881155","uid":"32435975","title":"","content":"","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"2605823","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"422","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357920","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12227,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"2605823","uid":"31534114","title":"10张小学生试卷：这些孩子都是人才，不服不行！笑了10分钟...","content":"

考试，几乎成为了检验学生学习效果的唯一标准。
<\/p>

为此，出题老师和学生们为了考试，费尽心血，斗智斗勇；<\/p>

在长年累月中，就出现了如下这些让人啼笑皆非的试卷……<\/p>

1.这翻译有<\/p><\/p>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"6","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"8","footprint_count":"1174","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1477647403","up":"8","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"1477647455","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":6674,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"31534114","web_icon":"{24ADB08E-B45F-A045-DFCD-6C63419398FA},{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nick":"邢文素老师","pinyin":"XingWenSuLaoShi;XWSLS;邢文素老师","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"邢文素老师","hqid":"2631680","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"邢文素老师","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nickname":"邢文素老师","gid":"31534114","never_login":false,"honour":"解元","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":"考试，几乎成为了检验学生学习效果的唯一标准。 为此，出题老师和学生们为了考试，费尽心血，斗智斗勇； 在长年累月中，就出现了如下这些让人啼笑皆非的试卷…… 1.这翻译有"},"content_cut":"","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":1},{"id":"5881153","uid":"32435975","title":"","content":"","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"2627620","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"421","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357901","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12277,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"2627620","uid":"31534114","title":"老师，对不起！我把您教的都还给您了！","content":"

\"QQ截图20161104140845.png\"
<\/p>

1、数学老师：由线和面组成的是什么？<\/p>

答：馅和面？饺子呗。<\/p>

（好有道理啊！）<\/p>

\"QQ截图20161104140852.png\"
<\/p>

2、化学老师<\/p><\/img><\/p><\/img><\/p>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"5","comment_count":"1","fav_count":"4","footprint_count":"872","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1478240078","up":"9","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":7268,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"1574644137","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"31534114","web_icon":"{24ADB08E-B45F-A045-DFCD-6C63419398FA},{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nick":"邢文素老师","pinyin":"XingWenSuLaoShi;XWSLS;邢文素老师","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"邢文素老师","hqid":"2631680","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"邢文素老师","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nickname":"邢文素老师","gid":"31534114","never_login":false,"honour":"解元","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":"1、数学老师：由线和面组成的是什么？ 答：馅和面？饺子呗。 （好有道理啊！） 2、化学老师"},"content_cut":"","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":1},{"id":"5881151","uid":"32435975","title":"","content":"","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"2744563","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"418","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357885","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12075,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"2744563","uid":"31534114","title":"考试得0蛋的孩子，卷子上都写了啥？看一次笑一次！","content":"

其实，比满分更难考的是零分。<\/span>
<\/p>

因为哪怕你写个名字，写个“解”“答”，老师都可能一不小心给了感情分，所以那些有本事抱个“鸭蛋”回家的孩子，答卷必有“过人之处”。<\/p>

比如下面这些熊孩子的表现。<\/p>

以下，是我这辈子见过最耿直的考试答案<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

（最后一个简直了！……）
<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

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<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

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\"\"<\/p>

\"\"<\/p>

　　近日，继希望十年后和鹿晗在一起的小学生之后，又一位立志嫁给明星的祖国花朵出现了！有网友曝光了这位小学生的大作，虽然字迹稚嫩，但通篇都洋溢着一股浓浓的偶像剧风情，文末这位“雪儿”还不忘点题，表示自己最大的梦想就是“和我的峰峰一起走到最后”。<\/p>

\"\"<\/p>

　　有趣的是，老师看完此文后用红笔批注称，“愿你早日醒来”，也是醉了。不少网友纷纷笑言“老师给点梦想吧”，更多网友表示“现在的孩子想法不能理解”。(转自新华网)<\/p>

早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我<\/font><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><\/p><\/p><\/p>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"5","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"861","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1481787653","up":"3","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"1481787686","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":6154,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"31534114","web_icon":"{24ADB08E-B45F-A045-DFCD-6C63419398FA},{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nick":"邢文素老师","pinyin":"XingWenSuLaoShi;XWSLS;邢文素老师","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"邢文素老师","hqid":"2631680","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"邢文素老师","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nickname":"邢文素老师","gid":"31534114","never_login":false,"honour":"解元","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":" 近日，继希望十年后和鹿晗在一起的小学生之后，又一位立志嫁给明星的祖国花朵出现了！有网友曝光了这位小学生的大作，虽然字迹稚嫩，但通篇都洋溢着一股浓浓的偶像剧风情，文末这位“雪儿”还不忘点题，表示自己最大的梦想就是“和我的峰峰一起走到最后”。 有趣的是，老师看完此文后用红笔批注称，“愿你早日醒来”，也是醉了。不少网友纷纷笑言“老师给点梦想吧”，更多网友表示“现在的孩子想法不能理解”。(转自新华网) > 早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我"},"content_cut":"","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":1},{"id":"5881075","uid":"32435975","title":"那些年被父母的坑。","content":"小时候回家和爸妈说老师让带一把豆子,第二天带着一把豆子去了结果是开运动会，每人带一把凳子。所以站着看完了运动会 


真事，我幼儿园时，老师让我们每人带一把刀来削铅笔，第二天，有个小男生从他的牛仔布背包里抽出一把生了锈的大菜刀


小学时候冬天，老师说明天上课每人必须要带西瓜，如果没带就不用上课了，结果大晚上我爸爸去超市买了颗死贵死贵的西瓜（冬天西瓜特别少）结果第二天才发现老师说的是吸管","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":5,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"1","comment_count":"1","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"421","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357508","up":"2","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"1558357760","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12394,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"1558752018","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"comment_list":[{"id":"2154209","wid":"5881075","uid":"32542799","content":"永远的儿童永远快乐","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","src":"1","ip":"2018774189","ctime":"1558752018","status":"1","qid":"102251","filename":"","attachment_md5":"","file_size":"0","is_medal":"0","audio":"","up":"0","perfect":"0","floor_num":"1","user":{"id":"32542799","web_icon":"{4980C5D6-4F69-2387-09AD-FF091C8EE8A4},{6662348B-F9DA-9C65-3FC6-5CF8EBB002EE}","nick":"fctoto","pinyin":"HuiBenJiaoSeYuZaoXingBiaoXianNengLiDeYanJiu;HBJSYZXBXNLDYJ;绘本角色与造型表现能力的研究;fctoto;fctoto;fctoto","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{6662348B-F9DA-9C65-3FC6-5CF8EBB002EE}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"","hqid":"3730289","star_value":"0","page_view_count":0,"account":"绘本角色与造型表现能力的研究","mobile":"13889941187","icon_filed_id":"{6662348B-F9DA-9C65-3FC6-5CF8EBB002EE}","nickname":"fctoto","gid":"32542799","never_login":false,"honour":"举人"}}],"content_cut":"小时候回家和爸妈说老师让带一把豆子,第二天带着一把豆子去了结果是开运动会，每人带一把凳子。所以站着看完了运动会 真事，我幼儿园时，老师让我们每人带一把刀来削铅笔，第二天，有个小男生从他的牛仔布背包里抽出一把生了锈的大菜刀 小学时候冬天，老师说明天上课每人必须要带西瓜，如果没带就不用上课了，结果大晚上我爸爸去超市买了颗死贵死贵的西瓜（冬天西瓜特别少）结果第二天才发现老师说的是吸管","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":0},{"id":"5881046","uid":"32435975","title":"那群学生真的没办法教了☆♂","content":"历史老师：那群学生真的没办法教了，上课的时候我提问题 
：“你们知道武则天是什么人吗？”第一个同学回答我说他和她不熟，第二个同学回答我说是他的一个网友，第三个同学说他有她的QQ号码等下课了上QQ问一下……还一个同学竟然掏出手机说要马上问她。

地理老师：你自己看看这次他们的试卷吧，我国五大名山之首是（赵本山），最著名的江是（潘长江），我国的煤都是（黑的），我国的铁都是（硬的），你说我还怎么上课？

语文老师：上课的时候，有个同学在看杂志，我没收了他的杂志敲了敲他脑袋……可是在我转身准备继续上课的时候，他的同桌竟然哈哈大笑了起来，搞得课都上不下去。我就问他为什么笑，你知道他是怎么答我的？那小子从抽屉里掏出一本辞海，竟然这样对我说：“老师，你还好没发现","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":5,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"1","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"1","footprint_count":"421","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357345","up":"2","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12225,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"content_cut":"历史老师：那群学生真的没办法教了，上课的时候我提问题 ：“你们知道武则天是什么人吗？”第一个同学回答我说他和她不熟，第二个同学回答我说是他的一个网友，第三个同学说他有她的QQ号码等下课了上QQ问一下……还一个同学竟然掏出手机说要马上问她。 地理老师：你自己看看这次他们的试卷吧，我国五大名山之首是（赵本山），最著名的江是（潘长江），我国的煤都是（黑的），我国的铁都是（硬的），你说我还怎么上课？ 语文老师：上课的时候，有个同学在看杂志，我没收了他的杂志敲了敲他脑袋……可是在我转身准备继续上课的时候，他的同桌竟然…","allow_modify_material":0,"allow_delete_material":0,"is_short_content":0},{"id":"5881013","uid":"32435975","title":"","content":"","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"3222853","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"337","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1558357207","up":"1","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":11748,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"3222853","uid":"31534114","title":"古代文人用上互联网会是什么样？","content":"

假如古人用上朋友圈
<\/p>

那会是怎样的一番情形？<\/p>

\"640.webp\"640.webp\"640.webp.jpg\"<\/p>

假如他们用上微博，<\/span><\/p>

那又有多少大V呢<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/img><\/img><\/p><\/p>","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":8,"qid":"2629036","rt_wid":"0","rt_count":"1","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"1","footprint_count":"554","src":"xnw.com<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1492760998","up":"2","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","channel_list":[{"channel_name":"趣谈","channel_id":"1518386"}],"utime":"0","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":12273,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"1","qun":{"id":"2629036","name":"老师们的生活小栈","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7BBB5C469C-CE71-18C7-62FE-DA6993781CE7%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"卷子批不完，事情多如山，怎样才能让老师重新活力满满？\n早起晚归，精神疲惫，老师如何进行自我调理？\n本群各类妙招带老师开启健康新生活。","member_count":"103","type":"0","allow_join":"1","lwid":"3674404","pinyin":"LaoShiMenDeShengHuoXiaoZhan;LSMDSHXZ;老师们的生活小栈","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"1","full_name":"老师们的生活小栈","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"31534114","web_icon":"{24ADB08E-B45F-A045-DFCD-6C63419398FA},{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nick":"邢文素老师","pinyin":"XingWenSuLaoShi;XWSLS;邢文素老师","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"邢文素老师","hqid":"2631680","star_value":"0","page_view_count":3,"account":"邢文素老师","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{331883D0-52A5-4C6F-4CCD-424ECDEB4851}","nickname":"邢文素老师","gid":"31534114","never_login":false,"honour":"解元","role":0},"channel2tag_list":{"趣谈":"1518386"},"questionnaire":{"end_time":null,"over_time":null,"finish_count":null,"finish":false},"content_cut":"假如古人用上朋友圈 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　优秀
♥＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿♥","pic":"","pic_wxh":"","is_long":0,"qid":"102251","rt_wid":"2816526","rt_count":"0","comment_count":"0","fav_count":"0","footprint_count":"329","src":"安卓手机<\/a>","status":"1","ctime":"1557663742","up":"2","pic_count":"0","vote":"0","type":"0","utime":"1557663932","receiver_total":"0","forbid_comment":"0","forbid_rt":"0","is_special_rt":"0","public":"0","page_view_count":11496,"cover_url":"","perfect":"0","comment_time":"0","is_zp":"0","orig_src":"16","qun":{"id":"102251","name":"开心乐园","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/f:%7B00AB9222-E16B-4083-AA74-3CE09078B2A3%7D\/s:180x180\/1.jpg","label":"其他","description":"来吧，童鞋们，让我们每天在这里发一个新笑话，祝大家开心的度过每一天!","member_count":"13167","type":"0","allow_join":3,"lwid":"8623620","pinyin":"KaiXinLeYuan;KXLY;开心乐园","disable_qun_chat":"0","has_open_channel":"1","indentity":0,"grade":"","school_qid":"0","student_count":"0","class_id":"0","is_forum_mode":"0","full_name":"开心乐园","label_int":3},"user":{"id":"32435975","web_icon":"{f917411c-d711-b4c9-7596-3d67be4c5eb2},{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nick":"sycき","pinyin":"syc;syc;sycぁ;syc;syc;sycき","icon":"https:\/\/cdn.xnwimg.com\/down\/{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}\/s:110x110\/1.jpg","realname":"沈宇辰","hqid":"3607403","star_value":"0","page_view_count":5,"account":"sycぁ","mobile":"","icon_filed_id":"{332cb90e-aecc-2ce6-3156-112b282c2e65}","nickname":"sycき","gid":"32435975","never_login":false,"honour":"举人","role":-1,"is_homepage_enabled":false},"channel2tag_list":[],"rt_weibo":{"id":"2816526","uid":"31534114","title":"老师们可爱起来，谁都挡不住！","content":"

老师都很严肃吗？<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>

no！<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>

那是你没见过这些萌萌哒、可爱的老师！<\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/p>

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